Sunday, April 29, 2012

Trifextra-an untitled 3 person POV non-poetic piece

This weekend's Trifextra Challenge is to write a scene from the point of view of at least three different people. And each POV needs to be exactly 33 words.

Here is my entry:

Shifting to her side, she gave him her back. She was tired of listening to him. She was a Lamb of God now; she knew He would make miracles happen with her money.
**
He heard her mumble something ludicrous about lambs and God. But she was nothing more than a sheep. She was signing her money away to strangers, money he had counted on for years.
**
It barely registered when the mother and son quit bickering; the minister was so caught up in processing the old woman's donation. Already, he could hear the waves lapping the beach-he couldn't wait.


I really wanted to make three poems, but I couldn't do it this weekend. Well, I probably could if I tried harder, but I like how this turned out as it is anyway.

13 comments:

  1. I like the dynamic between the mother and son. It's too bad the minister isn't thinking of charity instead.

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  2. Wonderfully done. I saw #2 as Him, seeing what was happening, but rather than wrath or pity, He just observes.

    Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Thanks for visiting--I really like when others can interpret what I've written differently, makes it feel more universal :)

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  3. Yah. Ponzi schemes don't just rely on the Madoff's of the world.

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    1. Yep. It's rather depressing to think about sometimes.

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  4. Oh! What a universal story. I can relate in ways one can't even imagine!!!

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    1. It makes me sad that you can relate--seems like unless you were one of the bad guys you were either the one taken advantage of or close to someone taken advantage of :(

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  5. That is amazing. I can't believe you can write with word number restrictions and make the story shine through. What a great piece. I could picture each of them in my head and their thoughts...

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    1. Thanks Winnie! I love the number restriction, most of the time!

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  6. I really wanted to go with some sort of lamb-sheep-?? trio, but I couldn't come up with a third name that still fit with the rest of what I'd come up with. I was thinking ewe-lamb-sheep but it I couldn't make it work. And I like how this turned out still, so I guess it works without the extra mutton reference...Hmmm, mutton might have worked well....

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