I felt well enough this evening to actually sit and think and write for a bit. Tonight I decided to focus on the current Trifecta challege. The word count limitations are 33-333 words; I really like cutting my entry down to exactly 33 words, especially since I am still on my poetry kick.
This week's chosen word is "confidence" and the third definition is "a relation of trust or intimacy" and here is my entry:
Her voice rasped,
rattling on and on.
The younger girl waited,
listened,
waited.
She was close,
closer than ever.
Soon she would have
the old woman's confidence.
Soon a fortune would be hers.
Good take on the word confidence!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Libby!
DeleteRachael,
ReplyDeleteYou are a talented writer. I actually like the first part of what you wrote, where you are just talking to your reader. That feels real. I would love to see more of your writing like that, not so prescribed and forced into a box:
"It's amazing how you don't realize just how awful you've been feeling until you start feeling good! My meds have lame side effects: nausea, dizziness, upset stomach, tiredness. Basically I have felt no different since starting the meds. But tonight, in that little window of time when the last dose of antibiotics was wearing off and the new dose hadn't fully kicked in, I felt amazing. Like I haven't felt in weeks!
I felt well enough this evening to actually sit and think and write for a bit. Tonight I decided to focus."
Would be incredible to see the word confidence in there somehow, whatever direction you were going.
I am sure this is more feedback than you wanted! Just saying: write the way you talk-- you have a beautiful voice.
best,
MOV
Thanks for the feedback MOV-any and all is welcome! I'm glad you enjoyed at least part of what I wrote :) I don't think I would be able to work confidence into that first part without it feeling contrived though, since I didn't take anyone into my confidence in that moment.
DeleteInteresting and ironic how the younger girl's silence -- as opposed to her older woman's incessant talking -- is what will get her what she wants! I like your poems, as always.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sandra! I love that you like my poems :)
DeleteBeautiful. You have written the response so well.
ReplyDeleteThank you Ruby!
DeleteThis is a really beautiful response to the prompt. I love that it's exactly 33 words. I think it's tough keeping a story down to 33 words, but I think keeping poetry down to 33 while still keeping its shape and its flow is incredibly difficult -- you do it expertly. Hope to see you on the weekend challenge.
ReplyDeleteThank you-for both the compliment and for creating these challenges in the first place! I look forward to them every week!
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