A Strained Limerick Pair

This week's first line for the Limerick-Off on MadKane's Humor Blog is:

"A woman whose budget was strained…"

As always, she allows for minor variations to the first line as long the end rhyme word is unchanged.

Here is my pair:

A lady had struggled and strained
to lose all the weight she had gained,
but her plan had its flaws
and included malt balls,
So what little she lost, she regained.


He preferred his potatoes well strained,
but her interest in pleasing had waned.
So he often sat down
to eat with a frown,
his displeasure barely restrained.

Because of the holidays, this week's Limerick-Off will last two weeks, so there is still plenty of time to add your own limerick to the challenge!

Marine Haiku: How I murdered Patrick...

Jenn at "You know...that Blog?" has given us the theme of "Marine Life" for this week's Sensational Haiku Wednesday.

The first five verses are inspired by the death of a poor little starfish when I was 13; the sixth (!) verse references the first poem I remember writing, when I was 12, it happened to be about my favorite marine animal.

Amid shells and sand,

A perfect, ruby sea star:

collection worthy.

Nobody warned me:

a sea star with moving feet

is a living thing.

Sea stars are not meant

to dry out in a hot car-

Leave them in the sea.

After a lone week,

the grand sea star liquefied:

A young kid's victim.

No souvenir, just

sea star murdering guilt to

haunt my memories

*

My first real poem:

Dolphins swam the moonlit sea...

Symbolic escape.

Anything is a Trigger, in 100 words

Every week I check out the prompt for Velvet Verbosity's weekly 100 Words challenge. Every week I think about participating, mentally forming an entry but rarely do I follow through.  This week I tried harder, and since the challenge host got to meet Queen Latifah last week she gave us an extra day to finish the challenge-otherwise I might not have made it.***

This week's word is "shake"; we can use the prompt however we feel, as long as the result is 100 words. My 100 are titled "Anything is a Trigger".

no advice

            available,

none too helpful

            anyway,

watch for signs -

ha, good luck -

            the effect is inconsistent

one beer, one case;

one shot, one pint, one fifth -

            doesn't matter

expect the worst,

don't bother

hoping for the best-

            just hope

your smile

            isn't too big,

            too small;

your tone

            isn't too happy,

            too sad,

            sarcastic at all.

Don't be noticeable.

            but, again,

it doesn't matter -

anything, nothing,

            is a trigger.

Just survive until

you are

            safe in bed.

in the morning:

don't ask

            why his hands shake,

be sure

bruised feelings

            aren't visible

on your face.

           

            anything

                        is a trigger.

I figure since this is my first time participating in the challenge that I might as well fully participate and include the blog hop--be sure to check out the rest of this week's entrants!



****Edited-I misunderstood the blog host's post, she doesn't meet Queen Latifah until this week. The extra day was because she hosted her friend's poetry :)****

List & Resolution Limericks

This week at MadKane's weekly Limerick-Off, there are two different themes to play with.

Her normal first line challenge is to use one of the following lines as the starting point for the limerick:

"A fellow was making a list"
or
"A woman was making a list"

Her second option this week is to create any limerick relating to New Year's resolutions.

This week, I am entering one of each. First, my resolutions related limerick:

Every year a man made it his goal
To see his team win the big Bowl,
He'd be ever so cross
when they suffered a loss
And would take weeks just to console.

And my list making limerick:

A woman was making a list
of reasons to avoid slitting a wrist,
or sitting on the edge
of a high window ledge,
and realized her point might be missed.

If I was in the resolution making mood, I'd resolve to enter the Limerick-Off sooner than two hours before the deadline, but I'm likely to break it. :)

Another End of the World Poem

There has been a ton of hype this week regarding the end of the world. There are dedicated websites detailing why today was the day-the Mayan calendar, planetary alignments, misc. religious prophecies, etc.  I didn't buy into any of it, but I had considered posting REM & Europe music videos.  I also thought about getting up at 3 am and mocking all the doomsdayers on Facebook, but sleep was far more important last night.

Of course, the world hasn't ended yet and it's December 21st everywhere by now. I'm sure the folks at Poets.org knew this would be the case since they posted a poem today, a rather fitting one, I might add. Today's Poem-A-Day is Robert Frost's Fire and Ice. 

Some say the world will end in fire, 
Some say in ice. 
From what I've tasted of desire 
I hold with those who favor fire. 
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate 
To know that for destruction ice 
Is also great 
And would suffice.

(I like this widget so much I think I may add the daily one to my main page.)

Reaction Haiku

A diagnosis-

Fear, frustration, heartache. But...

Never acceptance.

She's making new friends,

Fending off her depression;

For me: jealousy.

Internalizing:

Countless feelings tucked away,

My heart, a black hole.

But wait! The Mayo?

Experimental treatment?

Sparking a glimmer.

This week's theme for Sensational Haiku Wednesday is "Reaction".

The range of reactions I have felt, even as an outsider, surprises me at times. I can't imagine what my sister is feeling; I think she, too, internalizes. But, I'm sure if I were to take what I feel and amplify it quite a bit, I'd probably only have a small fraction of an idea. 

If Gina is accepted into the Mayo Clinic's treatment program, I will post more details on it. I'll probably still blog about it if she isn't accepted, but with fewer details and more whines.





PS--I quadruple checked my syllable count, but if I'm still off please let me know!!

Treat Limerick

I was awake at midnight last weekend when MadKane posted her new Limerick-Off prompt. I thought I was going to be the first one to post my limerick but I was only able to write the first four lines that night and ended up posting it Sunday afternoon.  I'm still not completely satisfied with the last line-my first two tries were too long syllable-wise; this one has a slightly better rhythm and syllable count, but still isn't my favorite way to end it. 

This week's first line is:

A fellow would frequently treat

or

A woman would frequently treat

Luckily, we're allowed to modify the first line just a bit, as I subbed in "lady" for "woman":

A lady would frequently treat
Her man to a rub of the feet.
But returning the favor,
he didn’t quite savor,
To change his mind would be quite a feat.

I think I should've used "take" instead of "be" but I already submitted it to MadKane's site on Sunday so I'll keep it the same here.

I actually meant to write this up on Sunday but forgot. You still have a day or so to join in the fun, and a new limerick-off starts on Sunday.

Life is Fine

While digging through one of several still-unpacked boxes looking for a picture, I came across this poem by Langston Hughes. My first year of college, 1200 miles from home, I had taped this to my dorm room wall, but haven't really thought about it in the last ten years or so.

I never found the picture I was looking for tonight, but I'm glad I stumbled across this poem. I thought I'd share the poem here, not for inspiration or anything really, but just because I like it and don't want to wait another decade before finding/remembering it.

I went down to the river,
I set down on the bank.
I tried to think but couldn't,
So I jumped in and sank

I came up once and hollered!
I came up twice and cried!
If that water hadn't a-been so cold
I might've sunk and died.

     But it was     Cold in that water!     It was cold!

I took the elevator
Sixteen floors above the ground.
I thought about my baby
And thought I would jump down.

I stood there and I hollered!
I stood there and I cried!
If it hadn't a-been so high
I might've jumped and died.

     But it was     High up there!     It was high!

So since I'm still here livin',
I guess I will live on.
I could've died for love--
But for livin' I was born

Though you may hear me holler,
And you may see me cry--
I'll be dogged, sweet baby,
If you gonna see me die.

     Life is fine!     Fine as wine!     Life is fine!

***

Good night :)

Limerick Feud

This week's first line for the Limerick-Off on MadKane's Humor Blog is:

"A man was involved in a feud"
or
"A gal was involved in a feud"

Here's my entry:

A man was involved in a feud
Over the new 'do his wife debuted.
His word choice was poor,
Now his bed's on the floor
'Til his sense of style's less skewed.

I'm not satisfied with the last line, but I've run out of revision ideas for it.  I really, really want to use "skewed" and this seems to be the best I can do with that word this afternoon.

Whiny Limerick

Soon, I won't need to start every post with something along the lines of "this summer I missed *** because I didn't have Internet". Tonight, though, I am excited to finally be able to enter MadKane's Weekly Limerick-Off after my summer hiatus.

This week's theme is whining, with the given first line choices being:

"A fellow who tended to whine"

or

"A woman who tended to whine"

The theme is fitting for me right now, as I feel like three-quarters of all my mental posts are whiny, which is why they are only written in my head at the moment.  Anyway, here is my entry for this week's Limerick-off.

A fellow who tended to whine
Sure his stars would never align,
He'd bitch and he'd moan,
"a dog can't catch a bone"
While buffing his Porsche to a high shine.

I'm not altogether satisfied with this entry; if I come up with something more humorous before the week is up, I'll post it as well.

Thanks for stopping by!

Altered Text Poetry

Several years ago, I came across Tom Phillips' A Humument, and instantly fell in love. The way he transformed a random book into a completely different piece of art is incredible. And inspiring.  I have bought several books with the intent of emulating Phillips, but an entire novel seems daunting, so I have started creating altered text ATCs*-much more manageable.  I don't make them very often, part of me almost feels like I am cheating somehow, but I really enjoy the process when I do sit down to make them.

Here are two of my favorites:

 Out of the smoke

She returned to herself

but she was altered

morning and night

by the relentless question:

How?

Shadows kidnap her,

his one pale eye

memorizing the brief moment

The raven recognized it.

Motionless.

As stand-alone poems they need some work, but as miniature artsy pieces, I think they are pretty good. Sometimes, when I am having trouble focusing on what I want to write I will work on this type of thing. Like I mentioned above, I kind of feel like I am cheating when I create these; I'd love to get some other opinions on the matter, if anyone would care to chime in-even to agree that it is cheating.

*ATC=Artist Trading Card, a 2.5 x3.5 piece of art. I first found out about these when I used to participate in swaps on Swap-Bot. That's another item on my "get-back-into-eventually list"' it's a very long list!

Escape Haiku

One of the things I missed most about having unlimited access to the Internet was participating in writing challenges. I spent the summer torturing myself: each week I would sign on to various sites and read the weekly challenge, even though I knew I would not end up participating. I must say, I had some really great entries for some of them written out in my head (I'm sure you would think so too, if only I had typed them out to prove it...).

Tonight I am recommitting myself to taking part in at least one challenge a week, starting with YouKnowThatBlog's weekly haiku challenge. This week's theme for Sensational Haiku Wednesday is "Escape". Here's half of half a dozen entries:

Stuck at the in-laws-
No access to the 'net;
Books: my only escape.

***

Longing to escape
monotonous eight to fives..
Damn, Facebook is blocked!

***

Emma caught on film:
She's locked out of the kitchen,
longing to escape!

This evening's Inspiration!

Be sure to join the fun!

 

A New Future, in 33 words.

This week's prompt at the Trifecta Writing Challenge is "new"; as always, we are to use the third definition in a 33-333 word response.

The third definition of new:

3: having been in a relationship or condition but a short time

Not surprisingly, at least to me, I have created a 33 word poem for your consideration:

I cannot see,
     only the dark remains;
once startled,
     cold sorrow awakens.
Selfish, empty words:
     the object of once
          pure hearts.
I resign.
Now to face
     a new future,
A life without light.

Trifextra-a poem hesitantly titled "Emptiness"

This weekend's Trifextra challenge at Trifecta is simply to write a poem, in 33 words, 3 lines, or 3 stanzas. I went for the 33 word option.



What now?
What if?

A mistake
to ask.

We would.
We could.

A mistake
to suggest.

She left,
Afraid.

The sunlight
was cold,
The memory
small, dark.

The price:
Nothing at all,

Finally.

Sunburnt Limerick

I missed entering MadKane's Limerick-Off last week. I would say I just wasn't feeling the first line, but really I was just too lazy to put in the necessary effort needed to create something decent.

This week, she chose the first line just for me though! Well, she didn't actually think "Hey, I'm inspired by Rachael's post on her poor sunblock application skills, so I want to make this week about her!" (Or did she...?)

First line choices this week are:

"A gal with a very deep tan" or "A guy with a very deep tan"

She also notes that minor variations to the first line are acceptable, and this week I'm taking her up on that!

A gal longing for a deep tan,
skipping sunblock was her bright plan.
Now she's laid up for weeks,
rudely dubbed "Fire Cheeks"
Super red burns now gracing her can!

(This really happened to me when I was ~20 years old; unfortunately the nickname outlasted the burn...)

Thunder

Hidden in darkness
she waited,
every footfall brought panic,
but she waited.
Held her breath
dreading they would hear
the thunder
of her heartbeat.
The closet door creaked
"Kelly, quit hiding from Momma!"

This week's Trifecta Challenge is the word "Thunder". The third definition is the noun used for the sound--"the thunder of hooves" etc.

This little poem is an image that has been rattling around in my mind the last few days.

Limerick Quest

Usually when I wake up in the middle of the night I have one or two lines of a song stuck in my head. No matter how long I am awake, or what else I try to think about, the song plays incessantly in the background of my mind. But the other night it was different. The other night I had the beat of a good limerick playing instead. So, in my half-asleep, still feverish daze, I tried to make every thought I had fit the pattern of a limerick. It was at the same time awesome-I wish I had thought to get out of bed and write-and annoying-it is much harder to go to sleep when your mind is actively working in such a way.

Unfortunately, all the extra practice I put in that night into limerick creation did not help me with this week's Limerick-Off over at MadKane's humor blog. As I have mentioned, I'm generally not ever funny on purpose. Sometimes I accidentally come up with something pretty good, sometimes my limerick efforts can even bring a small chuckle, but a lot of the time, like this week, they just aren't funny. This week's first line is: "A fellow was off on a quest" or "A woman was off on a quest". I couldn't resist the cheesy, obvious "chest" rhyme, if you don't mind I'll blame the extra lameness this week on the side effects of my antibiotics. ;)

A woman was off on a quest,
for he who the stories professed,
would dance upon strings,
and buy her nice things,
for the promise of glimpsing her chest!

I could promise that next week's entry for the limerick-off will be both funny and creative, but all I can promise is I won't be on any meds so I'll be able to try harder to avoid the obvious rhymes.

Misplaced Confidence

It's amazing how you don't realize just how awful you've been feeling until you start feeling good! My meds have lame side effects: nausea, dizziness, upset stomach, tiredness. Basically I have felt no different since starting the meds. But tonight, in that little window of time when the last dose of antibiotics was wearing off and the new dose hadn't fully kicked in, I felt amazing. Like I haven't felt in weeks!

I felt well enough this evening to actually sit and think and write for a bit. Tonight I decided to focus on the current Trifecta challege. The word count limitations are 33-333 words; I really like cutting my entry down to exactly 33 words, especially since I am still on my poetry kick.

This week's chosen word is "confidence" and the third definition is "a relation of trust or intimacy" and here is my entry:


Her voice rasped,
rattling on and on.
The younger girl waited,
listened,
waited.
She was close,
closer than ever.
Soon she would have
the old woman's confidence.
Soon a fortune would be hers.

Thirty

I didn't have a post last night, I was working on my Trifecta entry. The term this week is "observe", using the third definition which is to celebrate or solemnize an occasion (that's obviously a paraphrase, you can find the actual definition on Trifecta's page).

I'm feeling a bit narcissistic and instead of creating a fictitious poem or short story I'm writing about my upcoming birthday. Last night I made quite a few starts but they all sounded depressing or depressing, none of them seemed to fit a poem-not without cheesy rhymes (who hasn't seen some variation of the dirty/flirty/thirty combo on a "For Her" birthday card before?). Tonight I started over and began with a lame paragraph that fit the requirements but certainly didn't please me, then out of nowhere this came to me:

The edge of thirty approaches,
How crazy anxious
I am becoming,
Random failed feats are finding me.
This day I no longer want to observe
Yells: "only a few short days left to go."

It's still a bit depressing, maybe a tad cheesy, but trust me-it is way better than what I could've posted! I don't know why I didn't think of spelling thirty vertically sooner, it made a huge difference in my thinking process tonight.

Thanks for reading :)

Annoyed, in haiku

After last week's embarrassing screw-up, where I miscounted my syllables several dozen times, I made sure to count these a dozen and one times!

This week's prompt for Sensational Haiku Wednesday at You Know That Blog is "Annoyance".

Here are three things that have recently or are currently annoying me:

Green lights equal go;
If the road is clear, don't drive
under the limit!

There's one little hair
Refusing to stay put; it's
Always in my eyes.

For lack of sunblock
I dealt with nasty blisters
Now it's time to itch.

Have a great night!