A Strained Limerick Pair

This week's first line for the Limerick-Off on MadKane's Humor Blog is:

"A woman whose budget was strained…"

As always, she allows for minor variations to the first line as long the end rhyme word is unchanged.

Here is my pair:

A lady had struggled and strained
to lose all the weight she had gained,
but her plan had its flaws
and included malt balls,
So what little she lost, she regained.


He preferred his potatoes well strained,
but her interest in pleasing had waned.
So he often sat down
to eat with a frown,
his displeasure barely restrained.

Because of the holidays, this week's Limerick-Off will last two weeks, so there is still plenty of time to add your own limerick to the challenge!

List & Resolution Limericks

This week at MadKane's weekly Limerick-Off, there are two different themes to play with.

Her normal first line challenge is to use one of the following lines as the starting point for the limerick:

"A fellow was making a list"
or
"A woman was making a list"

Her second option this week is to create any limerick relating to New Year's resolutions.

This week, I am entering one of each. First, my resolutions related limerick:

Every year a man made it his goal
To see his team win the big Bowl,
He'd be ever so cross
when they suffered a loss
And would take weeks just to console.

And my list making limerick:

A woman was making a list
of reasons to avoid slitting a wrist,
or sitting on the edge
of a high window ledge,
and realized her point might be missed.

If I was in the resolution making mood, I'd resolve to enter the Limerick-Off sooner than two hours before the deadline, but I'm likely to break it. :)

Treat Limerick

I was awake at midnight last weekend when MadKane posted her new Limerick-Off prompt. I thought I was going to be the first one to post my limerick but I was only able to write the first four lines that night and ended up posting it Sunday afternoon.  I'm still not completely satisfied with the last line-my first two tries were too long syllable-wise; this one has a slightly better rhythm and syllable count, but still isn't my favorite way to end it. 

This week's first line is:

A fellow would frequently treat

or

A woman would frequently treat

Luckily, we're allowed to modify the first line just a bit, as I subbed in "lady" for "woman":

A lady would frequently treat
Her man to a rub of the feet.
But returning the favor,
he didn’t quite savor,
To change his mind would be quite a feat.

I think I should've used "take" instead of "be" but I already submitted it to MadKane's site on Sunday so I'll keep it the same here.

I actually meant to write this up on Sunday but forgot. You still have a day or so to join in the fun, and a new limerick-off starts on Sunday.

Limerick Feud

This week's first line for the Limerick-Off on MadKane's Humor Blog is:

"A man was involved in a feud"
or
"A gal was involved in a feud"

Here's my entry:

A man was involved in a feud
Over the new 'do his wife debuted.
His word choice was poor,
Now his bed's on the floor
'Til his sense of style's less skewed.

I'm not satisfied with the last line, but I've run out of revision ideas for it.  I really, really want to use "skewed" and this seems to be the best I can do with that word this afternoon.

Whiny Limerick

Soon, I won't need to start every post with something along the lines of "this summer I missed *** because I didn't have Internet". Tonight, though, I am excited to finally be able to enter MadKane's Weekly Limerick-Off after my summer hiatus.

This week's theme is whining, with the given first line choices being:

"A fellow who tended to whine"

or

"A woman who tended to whine"

The theme is fitting for me right now, as I feel like three-quarters of all my mental posts are whiny, which is why they are only written in my head at the moment.  Anyway, here is my entry for this week's Limerick-off.

A fellow who tended to whine
Sure his stars would never align,
He'd bitch and he'd moan,
"a dog can't catch a bone"
While buffing his Porsche to a high shine.

I'm not altogether satisfied with this entry; if I come up with something more humorous before the week is up, I'll post it as well.

Thanks for stopping by!

A Wedded Limerick

For this week's Limerick-Off Challenge over on MadKane's Humor blog, MadKane has given us the line "A fellow was planning to wed" (as always we can sub for the fem).

A fellow was planning to wed
a gal to keep him well fed.
But oops! Guess again
She only "cooks" ramen,
Each meal he now faces with dread.

A young lass was planning to wed
a boy who filled her parents with dread.
So they hatched a great plan
to be rid of the foul man:
They gave her a year at Club Med.

Sunburnt Limerick

I missed entering MadKane's Limerick-Off last week. I would say I just wasn't feeling the first line, but really I was just too lazy to put in the necessary effort needed to create something decent.

This week, she chose the first line just for me though! Well, she didn't actually think "Hey, I'm inspired by Rachael's post on her poor sunblock application skills, so I want to make this week about her!" (Or did she...?)

First line choices this week are:

"A gal with a very deep tan" or "A guy with a very deep tan"

She also notes that minor variations to the first line are acceptable, and this week I'm taking her up on that!

A gal longing for a deep tan,
skipping sunblock was her bright plan.
Now she's laid up for weeks,
rudely dubbed "Fire Cheeks"
Super red burns now gracing her can!

(This really happened to me when I was ~20 years old; unfortunately the nickname outlasted the burn...)

Limerick Quest

Usually when I wake up in the middle of the night I have one or two lines of a song stuck in my head. No matter how long I am awake, or what else I try to think about, the song plays incessantly in the background of my mind. But the other night it was different. The other night I had the beat of a good limerick playing instead. So, in my half-asleep, still feverish daze, I tried to make every thought I had fit the pattern of a limerick. It was at the same time awesome-I wish I had thought to get out of bed and write-and annoying-it is much harder to go to sleep when your mind is actively working in such a way.

Unfortunately, all the extra practice I put in that night into limerick creation did not help me with this week's Limerick-Off over at MadKane's humor blog. As I have mentioned, I'm generally not ever funny on purpose. Sometimes I accidentally come up with something pretty good, sometimes my limerick efforts can even bring a small chuckle, but a lot of the time, like this week, they just aren't funny. This week's first line is: "A fellow was off on a quest" or "A woman was off on a quest". I couldn't resist the cheesy, obvious "chest" rhyme, if you don't mind I'll blame the extra lameness this week on the side effects of my antibiotics. ;)

A woman was off on a quest,
for he who the stories professed,
would dance upon strings,
and buy her nice things,
for the promise of glimpsing her chest!

I could promise that next week's entry for the limerick-off will be both funny and creative, but all I can promise is I won't be on any meds so I'll be able to try harder to avoid the obvious rhymes.

Woebegone Limericks

Limericks seem to have a bad rap. They rarely get face time in any of the serious creative writing classes-the only time I ever heard about them was on random St Patrick's Days in grammar school and maybe once during high school. I have always enjoyed a limerick when I came across one and since I recently found MadKane's Humor Blog I have been submerging myself in them! She is so incredibly crafty with these things!

This week's the Limerick-Off theme is "Woebegone Limericks" and the two first lines to choose from are:

"A man was recounting his woes"

"A gal was recounting her woes"

And here are my entries:

A gal was recounting her woes,
a fancy rhyme she tried to compose.
The pen wouldn't move,
A fact that could prove
She ought to be writing in prose.

A man was recounting his woes
As he sat on the street with no clothes.
His girlie was livid
the foreplay too vivid:
A vulgar man reaps what he sows!

Be sure to check out the other great entries this week!

"Limerick-Off" Challenge

I have discovered ANOTHER fun poetry challenge to take part in!

Each week Mad Kane hosts a "limerick-off", where she provides a limerick and those entering the challenge respond with their own limerick using her first line.

For this week, you can choose between either of these gender specific first-line prompts:

"A fellow was starting to snap"
or
"A woman was starting to snap"

I love limericks so when I first found Mad's site I was excited, especially when she told me about the challenge. Then I felt discouraged today because I'm not too good with the funny. I can bring a random one-liner to the conversation once in awhile, but a whole 5 lines that have some sort of humorous kick? Ha, that alone is a challenge! But I am actually pleased with the two I came up with.

A fellow was starting to snap,
The others beginning to clap;
A girl they called Honey,
She danced for their money
Batting stray hands with a slap.

A woman was starting to snap,
The pea pile growing tall in her lap
The kids bitched and moaned
even the husband he groaned
"Why do I have to eat that crap?"

If you want to join the fun this week, visit this week's challenge post!