A Strained Limerick Pair

This week's first line for the Limerick-Off on MadKane's Humor Blog is:

"A woman whose budget was strained…"

As always, she allows for minor variations to the first line as long the end rhyme word is unchanged.

Here is my pair:

A lady had struggled and strained
to lose all the weight she had gained,
but her plan had its flaws
and included malt balls,
So what little she lost, she regained.


He preferred his potatoes well strained,
but her interest in pleasing had waned.
So he often sat down
to eat with a frown,
his displeasure barely restrained.

Because of the holidays, this week's Limerick-Off will last two weeks, so there is still plenty of time to add your own limerick to the challenge!

Trifextra 91: My Beast

This weekend's Trifextra Challenge is inspired by The Tummy Beast by Roald Dahl, and the challenge is to write about a beast living in an unusual place.  Last weekend's Trifextra was supposed to be about a fear, and while I didn't enter last week, my entry this week fits both, as it isn't entirely fiction.


*
It's not real. It's not real.

"Prove it. Just look."

She almost gives in, but she knows.

Hiding in that darkened mirror, the beast patiently waits for her to meet his shadowed gaze.
*


My beast lives in the mirror.

I prefer not to voice my worst fears, I'm just superstitious enough not to say the words out loud, but I'll admit to one of my biggest fears, which is also my most irrational one. You see, I'm not scared of the dark, I sleep best when the room is pitch black, but I'm freakin' scared to look into a mirror if the room is not well-lit. And I know it's the stupidest thing in the world and I know there is nothing in there, but the tiniest part of me will not tempt fate and look into a mirror if it's dark-ish. Because, well, what if?

*

I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've entered a challenge on the first day it's been available! This gives you lots of time to check out the rest of the entrants and maybe take a shot at the challenge yourself!

Trifextra 74: Silence is deafening.

The current weekend challenge at Trifecta Writing Challenge is to mirror this quote in our response:

Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.
--Henry James

My response is a little cliched, in fact all the ideas I kicked around seemed to be. Even so, I kinda like it:

There are three things I find ironic about silence. 
     The first: silence is deafening. 
          The second: silence is deafening. 
               And the third: silence is deafening.

Hope you're enjoying your Sunday afternoon!

Marine Haiku: How I murdered Patrick...

Jenn at "You know...that Blog?" has given us the theme of "Marine Life" for this week's Sensational Haiku Wednesday.

The first five verses are inspired by the death of a poor little starfish when I was 13; the sixth (!) verse references the first poem I remember writing, when I was 12, it happened to be about my favorite marine animal.

Amid shells and sand,

A perfect, ruby sea star:

collection worthy.

Nobody warned me:

a sea star with moving feet

is a living thing.

Sea stars are not meant

to dry out in a hot car-

Leave them in the sea.

After a lone week,

the grand sea star liquefied:

A young kid's victim.

No souvenir, just

sea star murdering guilt to

haunt my memories

*

My first real poem:

Dolphins swam the moonlit sea...

Symbolic escape.

Anything is a Trigger, in 100 words

Every week I check out the prompt for Velvet Verbosity's weekly 100 Words challenge. Every week I think about participating, mentally forming an entry but rarely do I follow through.  This week I tried harder, and since the challenge host got to meet Queen Latifah last week she gave us an extra day to finish the challenge-otherwise I might not have made it.***

This week's word is "shake"; we can use the prompt however we feel, as long as the result is 100 words. My 100 are titled "Anything is a Trigger".

no advice

            available,

none too helpful

            anyway,

watch for signs -

ha, good luck -

            the effect is inconsistent

one beer, one case;

one shot, one pint, one fifth -

            doesn't matter

expect the worst,

don't bother

hoping for the best-

            just hope

your smile

            isn't too big,

            too small;

your tone

            isn't too happy,

            too sad,

            sarcastic at all.

Don't be noticeable.

            but, again,

it doesn't matter -

anything, nothing,

            is a trigger.

Just survive until

you are

            safe in bed.

in the morning:

don't ask

            why his hands shake,

be sure

bruised feelings

            aren't visible

on your face.

           

            anything

                        is a trigger.

I figure since this is my first time participating in the challenge that I might as well fully participate and include the blog hop--be sure to check out the rest of this week's entrants!



****Edited-I misunderstood the blog host's post, she doesn't meet Queen Latifah until this week. The extra day was because she hosted her friend's poetry :)****

A Final Act of Revenge, in 33 words

I feel like I'm still complaining a lot lately, not so much here, since I don't post as often as I could, but in emails or talking to certain people in my everyday life.  I realized last week that a big part of my complaining is just a means of escape from constantly thinking of what my sister is going through.  Another way for me to escape reality is to write, especially about topics that aren't my sister.  With this realization comes yet another attempt to get back into regular blogging, which brings us to the second challenge in a row that I am participating in.

This week's challenge at Trifecta is to use the third definition of the word bitch creatively, in 33-333 words. The third definition of said word is:

3: something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant

I tried to stay away from this overused cliche, but I just kept coming back to it and finally gave in.

She clutched the pillow 

tightly

and waited 

for the last sign of 

resistance,

before 

softly whispering

the words 

he had told her

every 

time 

she 

cried:

"Life's a bitch,

and then you die"


(I made my husband read this, he said I can't sleep with him tonight!)

Trifextra-Pigeon Poetry

This weekend's Trifextra challenge uses a photo prompt.  There are three photos for us to choose from, and I have chosen this one to inspire my 33 words:

Photo credits: ZeroOne / Foter.com / CC BY-SA

Sometimes I perch

And contemplate:

     A step forward-

          A rush of wind upon my face-

               And then-

Nothing.

Do not worry though,

Those moments are fleeting,

I know 

my wings

Prevent my fall.

This weekend I am linking early enough to encourage you to join in the fun too!

List & Resolution Limericks

This week at MadKane's weekly Limerick-Off, there are two different themes to play with.

Her normal first line challenge is to use one of the following lines as the starting point for the limerick:

"A fellow was making a list"
or
"A woman was making a list"

Her second option this week is to create any limerick relating to New Year's resolutions.

This week, I am entering one of each. First, my resolutions related limerick:

Every year a man made it his goal
To see his team win the big Bowl,
He'd be ever so cross
when they suffered a loss
And would take weeks just to console.

And my list making limerick:

A woman was making a list
of reasons to avoid slitting a wrist,
or sitting on the edge
of a high window ledge,
and realized her point might be missed.

If I was in the resolution making mood, I'd resolve to enter the Limerick-Off sooner than two hours before the deadline, but I'm likely to break it. :)

Another Instance of Run-On Love

I can't manage to write, on time, 5 lines of verse for Limerick-Off Monday, 17 syllables for Sensational Haiku Wednesday, 33 words for Trifecta, 1 minute's worth of writing for One-Minute Writer, anything at all for Poets & Writers, or any of the other 38 challenge/prompt sites bookmarked in my browser*.

But...

I can write a 46 word, run-on sentence describing my surprise at enjoying the nail salon trip on Christmas Eve...

Well, I would "commit" to writing as a New Year's resolution, but I think I've already "committed" close to a dozen times in recent months, and we all see how well that has worked out for me!




*I just happen to have these five open at the moment.

"Family" Haiku

This week's theme for Sensational Haiku Wednesday is "family". I'm sure my haiku aren't exactly what Jenn had in mind, but I was a bit bored and December 21st has been a hot topic at home, at work and on Syfy.

I find myself a little amusing, and hope you do as well.

Forgotten during
the zombie apocalypse
Move on, form new bonds.

*

One percent survive:
dreams of repopulating
dance in Jason's head.

*

What Mayans predict
Fools may believe; my babies
and I sit back, laugh.




:)

Treat Limerick

I was awake at midnight last weekend when MadKane posted her new Limerick-Off prompt. I thought I was going to be the first one to post my limerick but I was only able to write the first four lines that night and ended up posting it Sunday afternoon.  I'm still not completely satisfied with the last line-my first two tries were too long syllable-wise; this one has a slightly better rhythm and syllable count, but still isn't my favorite way to end it. 

This week's first line is:

A fellow would frequently treat

or

A woman would frequently treat

Luckily, we're allowed to modify the first line just a bit, as I subbed in "lady" for "woman":

A lady would frequently treat
Her man to a rub of the feet.
But returning the favor,
he didn’t quite savor,
To change his mind would be quite a feat.

I think I should've used "take" instead of "be" but I already submitted it to MadKane's site on Sunday so I'll keep it the same here.

I actually meant to write this up on Sunday but forgot. You still have a day or so to join in the fun, and a new limerick-off starts on Sunday.

Limerick Feud

This week's first line for the Limerick-Off on MadKane's Humor Blog is:

"A man was involved in a feud"
or
"A gal was involved in a feud"

Here's my entry:

A man was involved in a feud
Over the new 'do his wife debuted.
His word choice was poor,
Now his bed's on the floor
'Til his sense of style's less skewed.

I'm not satisfied with the last line, but I've run out of revision ideas for it.  I really, really want to use "skewed" and this seems to be the best I can do with that word this afternoon.

Escape Haiku

One of the things I missed most about having unlimited access to the Internet was participating in writing challenges. I spent the summer torturing myself: each week I would sign on to various sites and read the weekly challenge, even though I knew I would not end up participating. I must say, I had some really great entries for some of them written out in my head (I'm sure you would think so too, if only I had typed them out to prove it...).

Tonight I am recommitting myself to taking part in at least one challenge a week, starting with YouKnowThatBlog's weekly haiku challenge. This week's theme for Sensational Haiku Wednesday is "Escape". Here's half of half a dozen entries:

Stuck at the in-laws-
No access to the 'net;
Books: my only escape.

***

Longing to escape
monotonous eight to fives..
Damn, Facebook is blocked!

***

Emma caught on film:
She's locked out of the kitchen,
longing to escape!

This evening's Inspiration!

Be sure to join the fun!

 

Trifextra-an untitled 3 person POV non-poetic piece

This weekend's Trifextra Challenge is to write a scene from the point of view of at least three different people. And each POV needs to be exactly 33 words.

Here is my entry:

Shifting to her side, she gave him her back. She was tired of listening to him. She was a Lamb of God now; she knew He would make miracles happen with her money.
**
He heard her mumble something ludicrous about lambs and God. But she was nothing more than a sheep. She was signing her money away to strangers, money he had counted on for years.
**
It barely registered when the mother and son quit bickering; the minister was so caught up in processing the old woman's donation. Already, he could hear the waves lapping the beach-he couldn't wait.


I really wanted to make three poems, but I couldn't do it this weekend. Well, I probably could if I tried harder, but I like how this turned out as it is anyway.

Misplaced Confidence

It's amazing how you don't realize just how awful you've been feeling until you start feeling good! My meds have lame side effects: nausea, dizziness, upset stomach, tiredness. Basically I have felt no different since starting the meds. But tonight, in that little window of time when the last dose of antibiotics was wearing off and the new dose hadn't fully kicked in, I felt amazing. Like I haven't felt in weeks!

I felt well enough this evening to actually sit and think and write for a bit. Tonight I decided to focus on the current Trifecta challege. The word count limitations are 33-333 words; I really like cutting my entry down to exactly 33 words, especially since I am still on my poetry kick.

This week's chosen word is "confidence" and the third definition is "a relation of trust or intimacy" and here is my entry:


Her voice rasped,
rattling on and on.
The younger girl waited,
listened,
waited.
She was close,
closer than ever.
Soon she would have
the old woman's confidence.
Soon a fortune would be hers.

Thirty

I didn't have a post last night, I was working on my Trifecta entry. The term this week is "observe", using the third definition which is to celebrate or solemnize an occasion (that's obviously a paraphrase, you can find the actual definition on Trifecta's page).

I'm feeling a bit narcissistic and instead of creating a fictitious poem or short story I'm writing about my upcoming birthday. Last night I made quite a few starts but they all sounded depressing or depressing, none of them seemed to fit a poem-not without cheesy rhymes (who hasn't seen some variation of the dirty/flirty/thirty combo on a "For Her" birthday card before?). Tonight I started over and began with a lame paragraph that fit the requirements but certainly didn't please me, then out of nowhere this came to me:

The edge of thirty approaches,
How crazy anxious
I am becoming,
Random failed feats are finding me.
This day I no longer want to observe
Yells: "only a few short days left to go."

It's still a bit depressing, maybe a tad cheesy, but trust me-it is way better than what I could've posted! I don't know why I didn't think of spelling thirty vertically sooner, it made a huge difference in my thinking process tonight.

Thanks for reading :)

Woebegone Limericks

Limericks seem to have a bad rap. They rarely get face time in any of the serious creative writing classes-the only time I ever heard about them was on random St Patrick's Days in grammar school and maybe once during high school. I have always enjoyed a limerick when I came across one and since I recently found MadKane's Humor Blog I have been submerging myself in them! She is so incredibly crafty with these things!

This week's the Limerick-Off theme is "Woebegone Limericks" and the two first lines to choose from are:

"A man was recounting his woes"

"A gal was recounting her woes"

And here are my entries:

A gal was recounting her woes,
a fancy rhyme she tried to compose.
The pen wouldn't move,
A fact that could prove
She ought to be writing in prose.

A man was recounting his woes
As he sat on the street with no clothes.
His girlie was livid
the foreplay too vivid:
A vulgar man reaps what he sows!

Be sure to check out the other great entries this week!

A Letter of Apology, in 33 words.

This week's Trifextra Challenge on the Trifecta Challenge site is to write a letter of apology in exactly 33 words. Salutations, addresses & closings do not count.

It's Friday the Thirteenth, and I wanted to go with something more Jason-ish rather than black cat-ish. Not counting the greetings or closing this is exactly 33 words.

Dear Mr. McAllister,

I feel I owe you an apology for
the death of your wife.
I cannot say I feel
any remorse for killing her,
only that I regret
you weren't available
to watch it.

With Deepest Regrets,
X

"Limerick-Off" Challenge

I have discovered ANOTHER fun poetry challenge to take part in!

Each week Mad Kane hosts a "limerick-off", where she provides a limerick and those entering the challenge respond with their own limerick using her first line.

For this week, you can choose between either of these gender specific first-line prompts:

"A fellow was starting to snap"
or
"A woman was starting to snap"

I love limericks so when I first found Mad's site I was excited, especially when she told me about the challenge. Then I felt discouraged today because I'm not too good with the funny. I can bring a random one-liner to the conversation once in awhile, but a whole 5 lines that have some sort of humorous kick? Ha, that alone is a challenge! But I am actually pleased with the two I came up with.

A fellow was starting to snap,
The others beginning to clap;
A girl they called Honey,
She danced for their money
Batting stray hands with a slap.

A woman was starting to snap,
The pea pile growing tall in her lap
The kids bitched and moaned
even the husband he groaned
"Why do I have to eat that crap?"

If you want to join the fun this week, visit this week's challenge post!

Sensational Haiku Wednesday-"Happiness"

I have written two haiku for today's Sensational Haiku Wednesday on YouKnowThatBlog. I know, what an overachiever hahaha!

My first haiku:

Both children napping
time enough to sneak off and read
just a few pages

My second haiku, and the eye candy that inspires it:



Indescribable,
her face lighting up
smiling up at me

Two completely different things that make me happy on a regular basis!
I don't like the double use of "up" in my second one, but it works for the form.


Thanks for reading ;)